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Posted by: Kim_Hamilton on 07/04/2010 11:25 AM Updated by: thepinetree on 07/04/2010 10:48 PM
Expires: 01/01/2015 12:00 AM
:

Welcome to the Country~By Charity Maness

So you’ve decided to move to the country where the Fourth of July weekend, by default, somehow becomes a yearly family reunion weekend. We would all like to think that we come from reasonably stable, intelligent, and normal families…. we are in denial. It only takes the annual Fourth of July family reunion to remind us that our roots may be a bit more fabricated throughout the year than we would like to admit.....


First there is the Uncle Hen. Odd, I know, but it was shortened from Henry, as if Henry is not short enough. Uncle Hen plays the fiddle causing some strange stirring in your mother to dance. Evidently dancing alone is not permitted so Uncle Carl joins in. The same Uncle Carl who for some reason can never seem to find a shirt to cover his gray haired sun burned chest. He did however manage to keep one strap of his overalls on. One must be thankful for the small things.

We can’t forget Marge; who she’s related to I can’t recall. Marge for the last millennium has sported a bouffant beehive hairstyle reminiscent of the leaning tower of Pisa. No one has the where with all to inform her that this hairstyle may be slightly out of date or that the kids have been putting rolly polly’s in her “nest.” Let’s throw in, for good measure, the cousins: the ones that pick their noses, the ones that beat you up and the ones that cause you to question their sanity, don’t forget to throw in the cowboy, the gang banger, and the nerd.

Add in the alcohol and the high sugar sodas and its pandemonium! Absolutely hilarious, fun loving, familial pandemonium. The kids run with sticks, the parents laugh uncontrollably, and the fiddle music calls to all the dogs in the area creating a backup cacophony of canine singers. As the evening wears down and the sun begins to fade, the fireworks come out. With the onset of fireworks comes a whole new family adventure. The incontinent family dog, the screaming frightened infant and the accompaniment of Uncle Carl’s flatulence to each new explosive blast.

You may need to look around more than once at the people that have joined you for this family reunion before you can admit, even privately, that you do indeed share the same genetic makeup as the majority of the folks that surround you. Your family.

What more could one wish for on a beautiful Fourth of July.

Wishing all a happy Fourth of July!

Until next time…welcome to the country.
www.charitymaness.com



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